Boundaries

•Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.

So the above is the web's definition of personal boundaries. I just got back from my counseling session with a new list of boundaries to define. Boundaries for my marriage. Boundaries with my mother-in-law. Can I just say how stinkin' OFTEN my husband & MIL steps outside the boundaries I try to set? My children do it all the time, but I expect them to. LJ does it an inordinate amount. But I get so tired of the adults in my life not acting like adults. T demands that I do what I say, but so often he is not bound by the same rules, yet I'm expected to adapt happily, as our son crashes from disappointment and frustration.

It's sooooo not going to go well when I give my MIL her list of do's and don'ts. I'll do it as tactfully as possible, of course, but it's still going to look bad. But I have my counselor's permission and affirmation that it's probably the only way to handle her right now. Especially since T cannot be depended on to always back me up. He often does, which is fabulous, but he also allows her to manipulate him sometimes.

I'm so tired of the manipulation! My dad suggested (via my mom) anti-depressents. Does that help in dealing with manipulating people? I don't feel depressed. I'm just tired of putting up boundaries NO ONE FREAKING LISTENS TO!!!! LJ, T, and MIL all manipulate me at some level, at different times. I told my mom if Dad had to deal with my MIL for 24 hours, he would cut off his grandkids from her altogether. He wouldn't be able to put up with her crap for that long. I'm at least making an attempt to not be as all-or-nothing as that. I'm tired of picking up the pieces from LJ after T or my MIL has undermined some of the decisions I've made for his betterment. If they had to deal with LJ's meltdowns from their decisions, they certainly would make different ones!

Ok, vent is done. For now. Off to figure out what my obnoxious boundaries are going to be....