The Gift

Ironically, the day after my melancholy mood, God showed me His grace. Tim let me sleep in after my very, very late night (I have the hardest time going to bed b/c for some reason I actually think I'll be up stressing about my life, when I would probably go straight to sleep). He never does this....usually he's got the earplugs in, oblivious to the kids; so I start hearing Lucas bossing Jack around too much over the monitor, and get myself up. He went to work, and on his way back, he asked how the morning was (Lucas pushed Jack into the kitchen chair or table while I was straightening my hair for the wedding later and drew blood), asked what our plans were, offered to bring lunch (without conditions of cost or what he felt like getting), and then brought home lunch from Newk's and the new Toshiba laptop! :D

The story behind the laptop....I was up late a few nights ago, spent 4 hrs trying to get my phone to sync with Tim's g'pa's old laptop and ended up erasing everything on my phone. :( I was able to reload what little HAD synched with his laptop, but I am getting beyond frustrated with my archaic way of having my schedule on my phone while saving money. I think this was Tim's way of "hearing" me. I've warned him I will probably start looking at phones and phone plans. But it was sweet that he was willing to spend that kind of money, knowing how frustrated I was that night. And then tonight, he said that he had been thinking lately about what I had said about a friend whose family invests a lot into family vacations (pointing out they sacrifice things like mustangs and hardwoods) and that where you put your money shows what you value (I've always said things like this, but he has always dismissed it). I told him it's not about how much money we spend, but what we're spending it on. Of course, after he gave it to me yesterday, he also informed me as to how long he talked to his dad the day before, how many stores he went by, and all the research he did. ;) I say this fully amused, if he spent half of his energy on researching ASD, it would be amazing! Of course, he started reading "The Inflammation Syndrome" that I bought last month, and is now taking my Omega 3s/Fish Oil I bought (that he told me doesn't do anything at the time I got it) for his painful knee. I may be spending some more money on amazon at this rate! Bring on the book recommendations, ladies! :)

All that to say, it made for a much better mood going into attending a friend's wedding than it did the week before. I used to love going to weddings with Tim, and all that they meant. It's amazing how depressing they are when your marriage is struggling, and you want to get back to where you were.

But I had to post this to help me remember when I start feeling discouraged again. It is the first hope I have felt in a long, long time.