Temporary Home

Okay, so we are definitely looking for the abnormal in my 2nd little boy, Jack. And reading up on the tests and what he could have just adds to the anxiety while I wait. At this rate, I'm going to need my own doctors and anti-depressants. I am seriously thinking of going ahead and doing the insane schedule of venom allergy shots for Lucas' fire ant allergy (which, with ASD and his tantrums, should make it super fun) if I'm going to be going to doctors all the time in 2010 anyway. Why not make it my full-time job? Most of you all are used to this...I've been avoiding it as much as possible, but it seems the inevitable.

So the new song below I heard recently, reminded me of God's truth. It's so hard. We're human, we fail, we sin, and our bodies are weak. We are not meant to be here forever. Suffering is a fact of this life. Our hope is in God, and that He saves us, and that this is all just temporary. What is hard is the living out of this temporary. It's easy to have eternal perspective until you see your kids suffer - emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually - then you want to fix it. You want answers. And as I sat around the table with several of you a few nights ago, I was reminded...I may not get answers. I may do all this work, and still wonder why. All I know is that God says there is a purpose for even this.

I long for the permanent home, the one my kids can be healed in, the one that is not so hard. And then I remember, one of things my heart fears most is trying to communicate to L who God is, and him not getting it, and trusting God that L is His.

I long for the peace that surpasses all understanding today.

Temporary Home
by Carrie Underwood

Little boy, six years old
A little too used to being alone
Another new mom and dad, another school


Another house, that'll never be home
When people ask him how he likes this place
He looks up and says with a smile upon his face


This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this is my temporary home


Young mom on her own
She needs a little help, got nowhere to go
She's looking for a job, looking for a way out


'Cause a halfway house will never be a home
At night she whispers to her baby girl
Someday we'll find our place here in this world


This is our temporary home, it's not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we're passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where we're going
I'm not afraid because I know this is our temporary home


Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers
"Don't cry for me, I'll see you all someday"
He looks up and says "I can see God's face"


This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this was my temporary home
This is our temporary home